The Greatest Thing a Man Can Do for a Woman

"The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is to lead him closer to God than to himself."

Many may think this an incredibly strange quote to choose for the celebration of the feast of St. Teresa of Avila. She was many things - a Carmelite nun, a mystic, a reformer, a doctor of the Church, and most importantly, a saint - but she was never a married woman.

Well that's not entirely true, especially in the Carmelite understanding of things. She was a spouse of Christ, as all the women who consecrate themselves to God are. And this understanding was something St. Teresa of Avila carried with her her entire life. Her one thought was on her spouse, Jesus Christ; as the Entrance Antiphon for Mass today proclaims, "Like the deer that yearns for running streams, so my soul is yearning for you, my God; my soul is thirsting for God, the living God (Psalm 42:2-3)." Teresa's one desire was to be perfectly united with God, and often, in her mystical experiences, she underwent this union.

From this, I believe we can draw a comparison to the married life of a man and a woman. As I have often stated, through the Eucharist, our souls are wedded to God, which is what Heaven will be, i.e. the union with God. Within this life, this union is symbolized in many ways, and we prepare for it. Through the consecration of her virginity, St. Teresa symbolized this union, which would be realized for her in Heaven. In marriage, a man and a woman symbolize this union as mirroring the relationship Christ has to His Church, and prepare each other for it through the mutual sanctification of each other. The difference, however, in the symbolism is this; the nun already here below begins what will be realized in Heaven. A married couple, on the other hand, only mirror Christ and His Church through the Sacrament. Their marriage to each other will cease and death, and they will be wedded to Christ in Heaven.

The Liturgy of the Hours for the Common of Virgins has this important thing to say in regards to virgins, "The virgin - indeed, any unmarried woman - is concerned with things of The Lord, in pursuit of holiness in body and spirit (1 Corinthians 7:34)." This was the great gift of St. Teresa, she kept her heart focused specifically on Jesus Christ. She desired to love Him perfectly; indeed this is the title of one of her great works - The Way of Perfection. Her love for the Eucharist was extreme, as was her willingness to embrace suffering for the sake of Christ.

Here then, is the way in which we may tie in the married couple to Teresa. Jesus, her husband, always led her closer to Himself. A husband, then, should always lead his wife closer to Jesus Christ. And this he may do in two ways, by being the head of the family, and by striving to make himself an image of Jesus Christ. In the Office of Readings today, St. Teresa says:

"If we expect to please him [Jesus] and receive an abundance of his graces, God desires that these graces must come to us from the hands of his most sacred humanity, in which God takes delight . . . .
All blessings come to us through our Lord. He will teach us, for in beholding his life we find that he is the best example . . . .
Let us consider the glorious Saint Paul: it seems that no other name fell from his lips than that of Jesus, because the name of Jesus was fixed and embedded in his heart (Second Reading from the Office of Readings for Teresa of Avila)."

I find St. Teresa's focus on the humanity of our Lord particularly interesting. She lays stress on how by becoming man, Jesus has given us an example to follow. And although this holds true for both men and women, nevertheless I believe there is something a husband particularly can gleam from this.

Christ is both Head of the Church and perfect man. As I stated, the Sacrament of Marriage mirrors Christ's relationship to His Church and Body, the husband symbolizing Christ and the woman symbolizing the Body, and together they form one domestic church. The husband will then function as the head of the family. This does not mean he dominates; let us look a the physical body for some enlightenment on this issue.

Within the physical body, the head is what provides for the needs of the rest of the body, four of the five senses reside here. The head might be called, "the command center," in that it is to the brain that all data travels and disseminates to the rest of the body. The head does not make all decisions authoritatively, however. Let us compare this now to the husband. As head of the family, he is to make sure the family has all that it needs. It doesn't imply the woman never works, for indeed the rest of the body works, nor does it determine who's the "bread-earner." Instead it merely means that the husband bears a responsibility to make sure the needs of the family are provided for.

This duty of course, must be born out of love. Remember the words of St. Paul, "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word...(Ephesians 5:25-26)." Christ ultimately gave His Bride, the Church the ultimate sacrifice, i.e. the Sacrifice of the Cross. This is because this is what She needed. We needed His death to ransom us from sin. Likewise the husband must give himself completely, in love, to his wife and family.

The other comparison I drew to the head of the body is that the head functions as a sort of command center. The brain does not make all the decisions completely on its own. Rather, it knows what is needed because it is involved with the body and comes up with a way to provide it. Essentially this is the same point as the previous. The husband must be so involved with his family that he knows their needs and desires. In this way, through dialogue, he will be able to determine the best means for obtaining the end. Therefore, the needs of the family will be provided for.

To tie everything back in to the original quote, however, I find it useful to consider Christ as perfect man. He set us an example to be followed. By conforming oneself to Christ, one is brought closer to Him, but is also able to lead others to Him as well. Thus, by a close proximity to Jesus Christ, the husband will be able to lead his wife to Jesus Christ. If he is an example of love, his wife will be able to draw close to Christ through him, for he will be a living image of Jesus.

This should bring no jealously to the man, however, for the sanctification of his spouse is what any true and loving husband would desire for his bride, just as Christ desired it for His bride, Teresa, and ultimately for His Bride, the Church!